To Heal Heartbreak
by X-TechnoBoyfriends-X
Summary: Karkat's heart is broken.. Nepeta tries to fix it.. And a certain someone decides to come back into Karkat's life. Will the mutant blood ever find real happiness? Or will he simply fall victim to depression once again? - Boyxboy, Xeno Genitalia, Smut, Lemon, Karkat's POV, Abuse, Self Harm, Rape (not to be romanticized), Other ships suggested - Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

A Note From The Author:

To those of you reading this, please be aware that this is not a copy of X-Paint-It-Red-X's work. That account did in fact belong to me however, I lost the login as well as I no longer have the email to reset my password so I had to start this new account. Also, please be aware that this story does in fact have a rape scene. Though I don't go heavy into detail during that scene, I do want to make it clear that I do not endorse, nor romanticize rape. It is an awful thing to go through whether it is in real life or just a story and I do not in any way, find it appealing. The scene in this story is specifically for suspense and dramatization so please, do not comment with any rude remarks claiming that I am ok with rape. I am not. But anyway, I just wanted to put this in here. Thanks so much for choosing to read my story and I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to leave feedback as I do like to hear people's thoughts on my stories. :)

* * *

I walked as fast as I could, crying harder than I ever had before. My heart ached and my stomach was doing flips as I sat in the school's restroom, it being completely empty at the moment. I should be heading to class... Like everyone else... But I can't. Not after what I had just seen in the hall.

It had been a normal day... A test in one class.. A fight or two in gym... Nothing out of the usual. But then I was at my locker before fifth bell and...

"I love you..."

"Love you too babe."

I had stopped searching for my books, peeking around the corner of my locker door, to see Dave Strider talking to my 'best friend', John Egbert. He's smiling... Which never happens... and so is John.

"Promise you'll come over to help me study?" The blue eyed male was staring hopefully up at the taller of the two.

Dave only gave him a look of uncertainness. "I'll see. I might be busy."

"Please Dave?"

My eyes widened in disbelief as the blonde smirked and leaned down, kissing John softly. "Ok. I'll be there around six. Sound good?"

I don't know what John's answer was because I quickly shut my locker door, forgetting my books, and absconded to the restroom where I now sit, crying and trying hard not to sob aloud. I sit there for who knows how long before I finally hear a knock on the stall door. "Karkitty..? Are you in here?"

It was Nepeta, one of the only friends I ever trusted with my secrets besides my ex moirail, Gamzee. "Y-yeah.. I'm here.." I say this quietly and stay where I am, eyes now red and swollen. "Well are you going to open the door or just make me stand in the boy's restroom all day?" She says this as she attempts to open the door, her tail swaying slightly behind her. "I just want to be alone Nepeta.. Please.. Go away." At this, she pouts and I hear her say, "Ok. You asked for it.". I see her feet disappear from under the door and the next thing I know... Her sweaty, milk loving moirail, Equius Zahhak, is breaking the door down.

"What the fuck Equius?! That's school property! We'll get in trouble!"

Nepeta instantly silences me with some shoosh paps. I try pushing her away, but her bright green eyes stare into mine, lulling me into a sense of security. "Worry about the door later. How about you come over to my house and we'll talk?" She says this softly, Equius right behind her with a face of stone.

"I don't know.."

"Don't worry. Equius won't listen. He has to go to football practice today so we'd be alone." Nepeta's sharp fangs poked over her lip a bit, a small smile on her face.

"Ok.. But just for a little while."

She smiles, and before I know it, I'm walking alone with the olive blooded troll, on my way to her house. I don't want to go.. But then again, I would like to talk to someone who cares.

And in this case... Nepeta's the only one who really does care


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok, so start from the beginning.. What happened..?"

I had stared at the floor for the longest time when Nepeta had asked me that. The image of Dave kissing John was still fresh in my mind and replaying over and over again as I tried to find the words to explain what happened. I finally thought of something to tell her, it being that, "I heard Dave talking with John about helping him study and the next thing I know my asshole of a so-called friend got kissed by the idiot." but... That didn't exactly come out of my mouth.

"He.. ki-kissed John." was all I managed to croak before breaking into another fit of tears, earning me more shoosh papping and a hug.

"Shah... It's ok Karkitty. It'll be ok. Want me to call Gam- I mean. Oh gosh. I'm sorry." She hugged me tighter, more tears falling down my face, exposing the hideous truth that I'm a mutant blooded troll.

"I c-can't take much more Nepeta. I can't."

She looks at me a bit funny and frowns. "It's only a crush Karkat. You'll get over it purrty soon.."

"No.. I-it's not just that. It's e-everything. I've been bothered by every fucking a-asshole in the school about being a disg-gusting mutant blood... Gamzee left m-me.. John is in no d-damn way my moirail anymore.. And I just saw how Dave fucking f-feels about me.."

"But you still have Kankri at home don't you..?"

"Kankri..? Th-that asshole finally got off his damn high chair and d-decided to move in with his new matesprit Cr-Cronus.." I hold myself now, remembering how I had woken up one morning to find mine and my dancestor's shared bed cold beside me. He had left a note.. Telling me how he decided that he did like Cronus and that he moved in with him.. But it hurt. I was happy for him... But he was the only mutant blood around other than me and now he's who knows where with the Ampora guy.

"Oh... Well umm.. I'm still here. You know I'll do whatefur I can to help you Karkitty. I purromised you that remempurr?"

"Y-yeah.. B-but.. Dave pr-probably fucking h-hates me.." My voice cracked on the last two words and Nepeta pulled me closer than before, rubbing me back, shoosh papping me, and doing whatever she possibly could to help me. It took a while, but it soothed me.. And soon I was only sniffling as I leaned against her, my arms around her in a hug.

"Please Nepeta... Don't ever leave me.." I sound pathetic as all hell when I say this, but she smiled nonetheless.

"I won't.. I purromise.." She then kissed my cheek, my face heating up slightly at that and took my hand. " You want to watch a movie? I've got purrlenty of pawsome movies we can watch."

I nod, and before I knew it her and I were both huddled under a blanket, watching the tv screen as the movie began.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Vvantas! Come here I need to talk wwith you!" Eridan called this to me as he ran through the halls, dodging various students on his way. I really didn't want to talk to him... He always bothered me with some useless videogame shit or he missed an assignment, but nonetheless I answered him.

"What is it Eridan? I need to get to my next class."

He smirked slightly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, a frown appearing on my face as he did so. "I heard a certain someone is back in this school noww. He's going to be in your next class starting today."

This genuinely interested me. A guy coming back to our school in one of my classes? But who?

"What guy?"

"Oh.. Wwell you knoww.. I'd lovve to tell you, but I havve to get to my next class. Havve fun getting along wwith your neww chemistry partner.."

He then left, leaving me completely dumbfounded as I grabbed my Chemistry book and headed to class.

The bell had just rung and I was sitting in my seat in the back alone as usual. It had been almost a week since John and Dave had started going out and thankfully this was the one class that neither of them shared with me. I stared down at my notebook, playing with my pencil while I waited for the teacher to start her lesson. I was glad to be free of those two during this period. It gave me time to think about stuff other than my own self loathing and hatred for them..

But then the teacher stood from her desk as the class door opened and I heard her say something I thought I'd never hear.

"Mr. Makara, welcome back."

My eyes had immediately shot up, staring at the student that now stood in front of the class. Tall, lanky figure.. Big curved horns.. Clown makeup..

It really was him.

"Class, this is Gamzee. Most of you know him from last year. Sadly, he got into some trouble and was removed from the school, but it has come to my knowledge that he has proven himself a good student and will be returning to our school starting today."

"Thanks Mrs. Slick. Means a brother a lot."

His voice came out slow and a bit droned out and I couldn't help but smile. Sure, he's my ex-moirail.. But.. It was still good to see him again. But.. Then the teacher assigned him the empty seat beside me and I couldn't help but clench my fists in annoyance. The last time we spoke, he was drunk as all hell and hit me repeatedly while telling me that he was so fucking annoyed with my "bitchy ass self" and that he never wanted to see my "ugly mutant face" ever again.

He sat beside me, a book in his hand and the slightest bit of a frown on his face. I grimaced at the thought of having to sit next to him all year and opened my book as class began.

"Hey.. Karbro.." His voice was quiet and sounded a bit unsure when I heard Gamzee speak about twenty minutes later. I stiffened slightly and said hi back, but nothing more. I didn't really feel like speaking to him right then.

"Um.. So I was wonderin'.. You think a brother could all up and get a second to talk to ya after school..?" He said this just as quietly and I could tell that he was actually scared.. Like he was afraid to speak or.. even look.. at me. I bit my lip, thinking over what I should say. What if he hit me again? The last time he did I almost ended up with a broken arm.. But apparently I couldn't think anymore because soon my lips were moving.

"Sure.. Behind the old playground.."

"Alright.. I'll see you then."

And with that... the class bell rang and Gamzee was gone.

The rest of the day went by like a blur to me.. Even when John and Dave kissed at lunch. I couldn't think straight. Why was Gamzee here? Why did he want to talk to me after he said he never wanted to see me again? I didn't know but soon the seventh bell rang and I was on my way to the old, unused school playground to find Gamzee, spotting him by a bush where he sat on a fallen tree.

"Uh... Hi..?" I said this awkwardly, standing in front of him. He looked up at me and I saw a small frown on his face once again. I stepped back instinctively, afraid to get hit again, and he stood, his frown turning into something of worry. "Karkat.." He stepped forward and before I could even turn to run his hands were on me. But.. He wasn't hitting me. I stood there, frozen as he hugged me, the smell of makeup filling my nose. I didn't smell any alcohol on him like I used to... And when he spoke it didn't sound like he used to. "You don't need to be scared bro... I ain't all up and gonna hurt ya. I promise.." I shook slightly and before I knew it I was hugging.. Or rather clinging to him.

"Why..?" is all I managed to ask him as he held me, tears slowly falling down my cheeks. Why was he being so nice to me now? Why was he acting even better than when he was my moirail?

"I'm so fuckin sorry Karbro.. I didn't mean to. I just got angry and with the drinks.. I.. I just wasn't right all up in my thinkpan y'know?" He hugged me tighter and I could tell he was being honest. He was genuinely sorry.

"I never meant to hurt you... I would never do that to you. Please.. I've come all this way. I have no where else to go and all I need is for ya to understand that I never meant to up n' hurt ya.."

I nodded and hugged him as tight as possible, crying into his shoulder. "Ok.. I- I believe you Gamzee.. I do. Just.. Please don't drink anymore.."

I could feel him nod and he said something about having stopped drinking shortly after leaving but then something clicked in my head and I had to ask him.

"What do you mean you have no place to stay?" I pulled back from him slightly, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well.. I mean.. I'm crashing at Tav's place tonight.. But any other night I got no place to go."

I stared at him and then took his hand, giving it a small squeeze. "You can stay with me.." I smiled shyly and he nodded in response. "Can I stay with you tonight..?"

"But what about Tavros..?"

He smiled a bit and shook his head. " I'd rather stay with you.."

And that was how it began.. My ex-moirail was back.. And from the looks of it, he wasn't really my ex-moirail anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey Karkitty.. I heard Gamzee's staying with you tonight?" Nepeta's voice was questioning as she spoke to me over the phone. It had been a few hours since school ended and I was standing in the kitchen of my (weird as fuck) human house. I could see Gamzee sitting on my living room couch and I smiled a bit as I answered her.

"Yeah. He's here. Why?"

"Well.. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here ok? If he does anything to try and hurt you-"

"He won't Nepeta. There's no alcohol here. Besides.. Even if there was Gamzee said he isn't drinking anymore." He looked over at his makeup covered friend, smiling a bit more when their eyes met and Gamzee smiled.

"Well.. Ok. But purrlease.. If anything does go wrong don't hesitate to call me."

"Alright. I will. Promise. But don't worry, nothing will go wrong. I'm perfectly safe here. Now I've got to go. I promised Gamzee we'd watch a movie."

"Alright. Have a nice night."

"You too." With that, I hung up, placing my cell phone on the counter before heading over to the couch where I sat down beside my highblooded friend. "Sorry about that.. Nepeta was just-"

"It's fine Karbro. I get it. I don't blame her for worryin'." He smiled, wrapping an arm around me.

"Yeah.. A-about that.."

"Hmm?" He looked at me, a frown appearing on his face. "You aren't still all up n' worried about that are you..?"

"No! Not at all!" I hugged Gamzee, nuzzling him slightly. It was an affection action, but I honestly missed our moirailship, even the hugging and cuddling part of it.. "I just wanted to say.. I really missed you.."

He smiled wide and I saw his pointed teeth.. They looked so sharp. But I knew this smile was out of happiness.. Not a drunken craze.

"I missed ya' too." He nuzzled me back and I blushed. I didn't like Gamzee as any more than a moirail.. But the affection always got me flustered. "Mind if I go take this makeup off before we start this movie..?"

I looked up at him, honestly a bit surprised. I had known Gamzee most of my life but I had never seen him without his makeup on. "Yeah. Sure. You know where the rags are and everything. Just make yourself at home."

He smiled and gave me a small hug before leaving to wash his face.. Leaving me to wonder what he'd look like without clown makeup.

It was about ten minutes later when I heard his voice again, his arms snaking around my shoulders from behind. "Thanks for waitin'. That stuff can be a pain to get off sometimes." He spoke softly, once again causing me to blush.

"I can imagine. I'm shocked that stuff isn't permanently stained on your face." I looked up at him, but he had moved. Where the hell did he go? Well.. When I looked forward again, he was there, smiling as I jumped back a bit. "Jegus Gamzee! Don't do that!" I blushed, embarrassed that he had scared me.

He chuckled and I couldn't help but blush darker. He actually looked really good without his makeup on.. Despite the three long scars that stretched across his face.

"Sorry bro." He said this softly and came closer to me, making me blush more.

"Gamzee, you're a bit close.."

"Oh.. Sorry.. Didn't notice." He brought a hand up to my cheek and my heart started racing. This was how it started last time. He had gotten close, made me feel extremely flustered, and when I pulled away he hit me. I started to shake and he gently kissed my cheek. "G-Gamzee.."

"It's ok Karkat.. I'm not gonna hurt you. Not again." He turned my head, making me look at him. "I missed ya' Karkat.." And then he was kissing me.

I blushed darker than ever at the sound of my name alone and darker so at the kiss. It was actually sweet.. Like the shitty soda he always drank.. And before I knew it, I was kissing back.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mornin' Karbro. Sleep well?" Gamzee's voice was laced with sleep as I awoke in bed, his arms around me. I blushed. Shit. When did we move to my room..? I rubbed my eyes, nodding softly at Gamzee's question.

"Good."

That was his only word before I felt his soft lips on mine. I blushed darker than ever, not exactly kissing back. Instead I pulled away, sitting up in bed. "I-I've got to go use the bathroom.."

He chuckled. He fucking chuckled. "Alright bro."

And with that I quickly went off to my bathroom, rinsing my face with water once the door was shut and locked. I was shaking, not quite sure what had happened the night before. I wiped my face, looking into the mirror afterwards.

What I saw shocked me.

Bite marks, hickeys, even some scratches, covered my skin. I blushed. Shit. Now I remembered. How the hell did Gamzee get me to do that with him? I shook my head, images of Gamzee marking me, kissing me, and touching me all over flashing before my eyes.

"Holy shit.." I suddenly realized I was extremely sore between the legs and blushed more and more as I replayed everything over in my mind.

"Karbro? You ok?" I hear him on the other side of the door and I start to shake a bit.

"Y-yeah.. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Can I come in..? Please?"

I sighed. It wasn't like I could deny him such a simple request after having slept with him. I opened the door, blushing darkly. "I'm fine Gamzee.. Really I am.."

"I just wanted to make sure.." He said this softly, gently bringing a hand up to my cheek. I couldn't stop blushing. Gamzee's gaze did something to me.. It made me feel safe..

"Did we really... You know.. Last night..?" I asked this shyly, leaning into his touch a bit.

"Yeah.. Shortly after I kissed you.." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back as he gently pulled me close.

"Gamzee I-" My cell phone went off and he smiled, letting go of me and walking back to my bedroom. "Go answer that. I'll be in bed waitin' for you."

I nodded slowly, watching Gamzee walk away. I felt weird.. It was like I was in some sort of dream. I went to my cell phone, unplugging it from it's charger and flipping it open. "Hello?"

"It'th about time you anthwered my fucking callth kk." The lisp tainted voice rung in my ear, obviously pissed off.

"Oh. Hi Sollux. What do you want now? It's kinda early."

"Early? It'th two thirty in the afternoon thmart athth. Thtrider won't thtop athking me where the fuck you are. And I honethtly want to know too. I heard you let Gamzee thtay with you. Ith everything ok?"

"Yeah.. I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Gamzee and I.. Well we decided to skip school today."

"Thkip thchool? You never thkip Kk. What were you two up t- Oh. Thhit Kk, you two didn't theriouthly have thex did you? I knew you were friendth before he left but wow. Holy thhit."

"Would you shut up? I didn't say we did!"

"No. But your denial tellth me I'm right."

"Oh fuck you Captor. I couldn't care less what YOU think."

"Well what about everyone elthe? Theeing ath the rumor ith already thpreading." He chuckled, causing me to frown and get even more pissed off.

"So what?! Let them think what they want! I love Gamzee and he loves me and that's all that matters!" I then hung up, heading back to the bedroom with a frown on my face.

"You ok bro?" Gamzee asked me this with a soft tone, sitting up from where he had been laying on my bed.

"Yeah.. Just Sollux pissing me off again." I sighed, sitting beside my- Moirail? Matesprit? I didn't know..

"Heh.. Just ignore the motherfucker. Who cares what he says?" Gamzee wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. A small purr erupted from the back of my throat as I felt smooth fingers lightly rubbing my horns. I couldn't help it.. It felt good.

"Just relax bro. I'll make it better." He said this softly, kissing at my neck. It left me shivering in pleasure and I couldn't help but purr louder. He just chuckled in response and continued working his lips on my neck. It felt amazing.. And soon enough I could feel him sucking and nipping, leaving more marks along my neck and collarbone. His fingers started rubbing my horns harder and I gasped, pleasure coursing through me. He started biting and soon he had me pinned to the bed, licking over a spot that he bit too hard. It hurt, but I didn't care. This was the first time in a long time that I felt like someone cared about me and it was great.

"I-It's fine..~ Keep going~" I practically whispered this when he apologized to me and soon he was trailing his hands over my grub scars and licking at my chest. He was gentle at first.. Especially when he pulled my boxers off.. But once he managed to get my bulge out, he was rough. He scratched my sides, causing me to wince and moan at the same time. He bit my chest, my shoulders, everywhere his mouth could reach. And when he entered me he was fast and hard. I hardly even had time to adjust before he was pounding me into the bed, ripping screams from my throat. It hurt.. It hurt bad. But whenever he bit me, he licked over the bite as if to apologize, whenever he scratched enough to draw blood, he gently ran his thumb over it as if to make sure it wasn't too bad a wound, and when tears fell from my eyes due to his hard, quickening thrusts, he slowed down to kiss my tears away before pressing his lips to mine. It hurt so bad.. But I loved Gamzee. He was what I needed all along. Someone to love who would love me back. And no matter how bad it hurt.. I knew he didn't mean it.

He proved this to me when we both reached our ends.

He pulled out of me slowly, drawing a small groan from me, and collapsed to my left. I laid there, shaking and in pain. He hadn't been this rough the first time from what I remembered..

He then pulled me close to him though, his voice soft and his eyes apologetic. "I'm sorry.." He ran his fingers over my scratches, kissed my bites softly, and kept me warm as I began to fall asleep. I only smiled though, understanding that he didn't mean any of it to hurt. He was a highblood after all. Most highbloods were stronger than lowbloods, especially mutant bloods like me. "It's ok Gamzee.."

He smiled and held me close but he didn't say anything so I did instead.

"I love you.." I said this shyly, smiling at him. But then I sighed. My partner had already fallen asleep..

And so.. I laid there, shivering slightly as I cuddled close to him for warmth.

I could only hope that Gamzee loved me as much as I now loved him..


	6. Chapter 6

"I said, are you listening to me?" John stared at me with a bit of frustration, his eyebrows knitted together as his bright blue eyes searched mine. I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

"No.. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"Ughh.. I said, where were you yesterday? Everyone said you and Gamzee left school together the day before and we were worried. We thought he hurt you again."

I frowned. I hated that everyone kept assuming Gamzee was here to hurt me. "First off Egbert, Gamzee didn't hurt me. I'm letting him stay with me because he has no place to go and is officially alcohol free. Second, what do you mean 'we'?"

"Dave of course! He was worried sick about you!"

"Why would he be worried about me?" I ask this half heartedly, not really believing that Dave would worry about me. Why would he? He loved John.. He didn't need me.

"Well your one of his best friends! Of course he'd be worried about you! Heck, I couldn't get him to put his cell phone down even once! He kept saying stuff like 'We should call the police.', 'What if Gamzee's hurting him again?'.. He even suggested going over to your place and checking on you!"

For a moment, this sounded like music to my ears. So Dave still cared about me that much..

But no. I frowned, staring angrily at John.

"Well tell Strider I don't need him. I'm perfectly safe with Gamzee. In fact.. Him and I are matesprits now and he's doing everything in his power to make sure I'm happy and safe. So if Strider wants to worry about something.. Tell him to make sure that that something isn't me."

I stood from my spot at the lunch table, seething as I walked away, John calling after me.

"Hey Karbro.. What's wrong?" I bump into Gamzee on my way out, blushing lightly in embarrassment. "Oh.. Hey Gamzee. Nothing's wrong. Just a little frustrated with someone. Don't worry about it." I smile a bit and he nods, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Come sit with me bro.. We can share the chocolate pie slice I bought on the way to school." He smiled, leading me off to a different table. I relaxed almost instantly, his touch and voice soothing, and I smile up at him. "Thank you.."

I spent the rest of lunch sitting with Gamzee, smiling and leaning against his shoulder. It was nice.. Having someone who cared about me.. And every time he gave me a bite of his pie, I'd always end up blushing because he'd feed it to me instead of letting me feed myself. It was fun.. But then Tavros came over.

"Umm.. Hey Gamzee.. Karkat." He started out shy, just as usual, his wheelchair parked to the right of the table, next to Gamzee. "Uh.. I was wondering.. Gamzee, could you come hang out with me.. after school? The movers are finally bringing my couch into my new apartment and well.. I need some help moving some stuff. I can't really do it myself because.. Well.. You know.." He blushed in embarrassment and I frowned slightly when Gamzee smiled. "Sure Tavbro.. I'll walk there with you after school."

And Tavros' face lit up like it was his fucking wriggling day and he just got a new set of legs. Motherfucker was thanking Gamzee like crazy and even had the nerve to lean over and hug him. And was that a fucking nuzzle? Did he seriously just nuzzle MY matesprit?!

"Alright.. See ya then bro!" Gamzee called this as Tavros wheeled away, my eyes glaring daggers at him. He better keep his hands off Gamzee or so help me I'll-

"Karbro.. You ok?" Gamzee was looking to me now, worry on his face. I blushed, embarrassed and also a bit annoyed.

"Do you really have to go over to his place after school..?" I ask this with a small pout (although I didn't mean to pout) and crossed my arms. Gamzee just smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

"Aww Karbro.. I know you want me to stay with ya.. But poor Tavbro can't move stuff around what with his legs not working.."

I sigh. "I know he can't.. But what am I suppose to do while you're gone?"

He kissed my cheek, earning us a few stares, and smiled wide. "You'll find something to do. Don't worry.. I won't be gone for more than a few hours."

"Promise?"

"I swear bro."

And that was the last thing Gamzee said to me before lunch was over. We saw each other in Chemistry class of course.. But didn't talk since there was a test.. And then I met him in front of the school with Tavros, where I gave him a small kiss on the cheek. (I had meant to give him a kiss on the lips.. But he had turned his head.)

I sighed.. and then watched him go off with Tavros, my heart aching. I really didn't want them being alone together.. But I had hope that Gamzee truly loved me.. and that he wouldn't do anything with Tavros besides help him move the stuff in his apartment.

I then headed home, but was stopped halfway by Dave Strider himself. I sighed, looking to him when he called my name. "What do you want Strider?"

He frowned slightly, although his poker-face didn't manage to break. "Save the attitude for later Vantas. I need you to come over to my place."

I raised an eyebrow. Why in the hell did he need me to go over to his place? Didn't he have John for that?

"I'm kinda busy. How about some other day..?" I lied easily, turning to leave, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Damn it Karkat. Just come with me please. I need someone to talk to and you're the only friend I got that can help me." His voice sounded desperate and I sighed. Whatever it was.. I guess he couldn't talk to John about it.

"Fine.."

And with that.. I was off to Dave's apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

"Remind me why I'm here again.." I said this angrily, arms crossed as I was told to sit down on the Strider's couch.

"Because I need someone to talk to. What's it matter anyway? Not like you're actually busy." Dave was shuffling about in front of me, kicking an array of plush assed puppets out of the way as he spoke.

"How would you know?" I growled, standing. "For your information Strider I was going to-"

"What? Sit home alone while your boyfriend hangs out with Nitram?" He said this with a smirk and I balled my hands into fists.

"What's it matter to you anyway?! It's not like it affects you! You've got a boyfriend! Why not ask him to talk to you about whatever the fuck is wrong?!"

"Because he's not my boyfriend anymore ok?!" Dave shouted this, his poker-face actually breaking and his voice slightly cracking. I stopped speaking, my expression going from anger to something of confusion and surprise. "What..?"

"John broke up with me ok? That's why I wanted to talk to you.." He sat down, slouching with his hands in his lap. "He said he feels like it's just not working out.. Like he can't really look at me as his boyfriend because we've been best friends for so long that it seems weird. I told him it's cool.. That I understand but.." He bit back a small sob and for once.. I felt sorry for the guy. He never cried before and now here he was, tears slowly falling down his shade covered face as he tried hard not to break into sobs.

"Dave.. I'm so sorry.." I moved to sit beside him, rubbing his back gently in hopes of calming him down.

"I just don't understand.. Every time I like a guy I end up hurt.. Either they aren't interested in me or they just break up with me.." More tears fell and he hugged himself, leaning against me a bit. "It's like no one will ever love me.."

I bit my lip at those words. I so badly wanted to say that I loved him.. Because I knew I still did. But if I did tell him that.. I'd only hurt him more. Gamzee was my matesprit now.. I loved him.. I couldn't just leave him for a chance to be with Dave. Especially after sleeping with him.

"Dave.. I'm sure someone out there loves you.." I said this quietly, hoping my words would help just a little bit. "You just haven't found them yet is all. John..? Heck.. The guy's a dork.. You know this better than anyone. If he left you then he's just being stupid and not realizing what he's missing out on."

The blonde nodded and for the first time I've ever seen him do it, he removes his shades, revealing two bright red eyes. "Thanks Karkat.." He smiled a bit, and I couldn't help but blush. His eyes were amazing.. And that smile.. I wished he'd smile like that more often..

"Don't mention it Strider. I mean.. What are friends for right?" I offered a small grin and he nodded, wiping his eyes and looking to me.

"You're the best friend I've ever had Karkat." He hugged me and my face lit up a dark red, my heart skipping a beat. "You're a pretty good friend yourself.. Dave.." I smiled and when he pulled away he slipped his shades back on.

I then got a text, looking to my phone. It was Tavros.

AT:: hEY,, gAMZEE JUST LEFT,

AT:: sO UMM,,, hE SHOULD BE BACK AT YOUR PLACE SOON,

I smiled and texted back a quick ok before putting my phone away, looking to Dave.

"Gamzee's on his way home so I have to go. He doesn't have a key yet so.. You know.."

Dave gave a small smile and nodded, walking me out of the apartment complex. Before I left however, he hugged me close. "Thanks again Kitkat." I nodded as acknowledgement to his thanks and then left, heading home.

When I got there, the door was wide open and I raised an eyebrow. I knew I locked that door. I walked up to it, noticed the lock had been busted, and I peeked my head inside. "Gamzee..?" I stared inside and there was no answer.

"Hello..? Anybody here..?" I walked into the living room, noticing that the coffee table was turned over and the lamp in the corner of the room was broken.

My heart sunk though when I spotted the bottle of beer and heard the front door shut.

Gamzee was home.. But he wasn't sober anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

"H-hey Gamzee." I watched my matesprit as he stood at the door, eyes dragging over me. He looked absolutely trashed.. Just like the last time he had gotten drunk.. And my heart was racing as he stepped closer. His voice was gravely, slurring from the affects of the alcohol.

"Where've ya been motherfucker..? I came home and the door was fuckin' locked."

I swallowed, staying where I was. "I stopped by at Strider's place. He n-needed some help with our Physics lesson from today.. S-so I helped real quick." I bit my lip, watching as Gamzee stepped closer. "I'm sorry I didn't get back before you. I tr-tried to get back so I could unlock the door but.. It's a bit of a walk from Strider's to he-"

"You're fuckin lyin!" Gamzee growled and stepped closer to me and my first instinct was to step back. "Gamzee. I promise.. I'm n-not lying.."

He took another step closer and I stepped back, my back hitting the wall.

"Then why are you backin away..? If you're tellin the truth then let me get closer to ya."

I swallowed and he stepped closer to me, now only a foot away.

"G-Gamzee.. You know I w-wouldn't lie to you." I stare up at him, my eyes filling with tears. I was scared.. I didn't want him to hurt me again. "Please.. Just g-go lie down. You're drunk and n-not thinking straight.."

I guess that was the wrong thing to say though.. Because the next thing I know, his hand is at my throat. "I am not! Motherfucker, I've never seen more clearer than I do now!" He tightened his grip and my hands went to his wrist, fighting back out of the fear of choking to death.

"G-Gamzee.. Please.. St-stop.." Tears slowly began to fall down my cheeks and he growled low in his throat.

"Tell me.. The truth.. Karkat." He tightened his grip again, this time cutting off my ability to breathe.

I started to choke and I stared at him, crying as I watched my drunken matesprit choke me. "G-Gam.." My vision was blurring and I couldn't breathe.

"You fucked him didn't ya?!" He asked me this, but I couldn't answer. I was becoming limp and I could practically feel myself dying under his grip.

That's when he dropped me, my body convulsing as I coughed and took in as many breathes as possible.

"I said.. Did you fuckin sleep with that motherfucker?!" He kicked my side, the force causing me to gasp for breathe. I stared up at him helpless, crying my eyes out.

"No G-Gamzee! I swear! I wo-would never!" He kicked me again and I let out a small choked sob. "Please.. I-I love you!" I screamed this with a broken heart and he smiled that drunken, sharp toothed smile that for months, I had seen in my nightmares.

He grabbed my hair, dragging me across the floor and to the bedroom. "I know your fuckin lying you filthy mutant blood.." He growled this and my heart was shattering more and more. "So I'm gonna make you mine. That way you'll never fuckin lie to me again."

He said this before tossing me onto our shared bed and I cried. I knew what was going to happen.. And I closed my eyes, shaking as I curled up in a ball.

What came next.. Was something I would never forget..

Gamzee crawled on top of me, pushing my shoulders down so that I was lying on my back. He made me open my eyes, shooshing me and telling me in a drunken slur that everything would be ok once he made me his. I only cried.. My heart broken and my body aching.

When he tied my hands and ankles to the bed, I don't know, but I could see bottles of beer littering the whole room, each one completely empty. A choked sob left me as he bit my neck, drawing blood and causing me to wince. It all hurt so bad... I only wished I could stop it. "Gamzee.. Pl-please.. Don't do this.." I watched him, his hands tearing away at my sweater and pants. His eyes burned with a drunken lust and I tried to pull free from my restraints, fear completely taking over me.

"Stay the fuck still before I break your motherfuckin arms." He scratched his clawed fingers over my shoulders, causing me to cry out in pain as blood rose from the scratches.

"St-stop! Please!"

And then he punched me straight in the stomach, my breath catching in my throat as I gasped for air.

"Listen mutant! Keep your fuckin mouth shut or I'll motherfuckin rip your tongue out!"

I nodded in understanding, whimpering before he kissed me roughly, attacking my throat with his tongue.

All I could do from there on out was cry as he did what he wished with me.. His claws left scratches all over me, each one bleeding, and my neck was covered in dark bruises and bleeding bite marks. The most painful of it all though was when he entered me. It wasn't like the last time.. When he thrusted roughly and then apologized afterwards. It was just painful, hard thrusts and loud chuckles whenever I sobbed in pain. When I finished, he kept going, and when he was done, he managed to be ready all over again, going at me hard and fast. My whole body ached and each thrust ripped screams from my throat that he muffled by covering my mouth with his hand. By time he was done with me completely, my restraints were torn and my whole body was covered in blood and other fluids.

I cried and weakly dragged myself out of the bed, curling up in the corner of the room. I soon fell asleep and awoke there the next morning.

As for Gamzee.. He had left.. Taking all my love and happiness with him.


	9. Chapter 9

"Karkat?! Karkat?!" Everything was hazy as I heard my name called out. The voice sounded so familiar.. But I couldn't place it. I was in pain all over.. My scratches, bite marks, and nook throbbed in pain. Dried blood stuck to my skin and my legs were shaky as I attempted to crawl across the floor towards the voice. I only made it to the side of the bed though, collapsing with a small whimper.

I could hear the person in my house running around, opening and closing doors as they shouted my name out in panic. I coughed weakly, not nearly loud enough for them to hear, and reached my arm out towards the door.

"I-I'm here.." I called this out in a choked whisper, unable to speak any louder. "Please.. I'm h-here.."

That's when I saw him. Blonde hair.. Stupid shades.. And his signature broken record shirt.

"D-Dave.." I whimper again, the struggle of trying to crawl closer to him causing pain to shoot through my body.

He ran to my side immediately, his voice full of worry. "Oh my god.. Karkat.." He looked around, finding a blanket and carefully wrapping me in it. I whimper pathetically in pain as he pulls me close, holding me. "Did Gamzee do this to you?" He asked this angrily and I managed a small sob as I nodded. The truth hurt.. And I didn't want to face the fact that my matesprit raped me. But I had to face the facts. Gamzee did this. He choose to get drunk and now I was bleeding and unable to move without being in pain.

"I-I want to d-die.." I whispered this weakly, a few tears leaving my eyes. It was true.. I wanted to die. I was done with the pain.. With not being loved.. And I was done being totally alone.

"Shhh.. It's ok Karkat.. It'll be ok." He rubbed my back gently, so careful to the point that it didn't even hurt.

I whimpered softly and another small sob escaped my throat. I couldn't help it anymore. My heart was absolutely shattered and Gamzee took all the pieces with him when he left.

"Shhh.. It's alright.. It's ok." Dave brushed a hand through my hair and then went for his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. "I'm going to get some help ok..?"

I nod and watch him through tired eyes as he dials in a number. "Kanaya..? Yeah. I need you and Rose asap at Karkat's place. Yes. It was Gamzee.. Just please. Hurry." He said this with what I swore was desperation and he stared at my through those stupid shades of his. I then heard someone speaking over the other line (although I couldn't tell what they said) and Dave sighed, thanking them before setting his phone down. "It's alright Karkat.. You're going to be ok. I promise." He held me close for what seemed like hours until Rose and Kanaya showed up, a first aid kit in hand as the quickly wrapped up my wounds before taking me into Dave's car where they laid me down in the back seat.

What happened after that.. I'm not quite sure.

I remember Dave driving.. Him, Rose, and Kanaya bringing me inside his apartment, Kanaya cleaning me horn to toe in the apartment's bathtub, and I remember being wrapped in a warm blanket after having some fresh bandages and pajamas put on me.

I fell asleep after that.. The pain in my body subsiding thanks to some medicine Kanaya brought. When I awoke.. It was to a rather pleasant surprise.


	10. Chapter 10

My eyes opened for what seemed like forever and my body ached slightly, telling me that Kanaya's medicine had worn off. I shifted slightly, but stopped, realizing that something was wrapped around my waist beneath the blanket. I bit my lip, blushing darkly as I turned my head to find that Dave was beside me, his shades off and his eyes closed as he slept.

"Da-" A finger went to my lips and I turned my eyes to see Rose sitting beside us, Kanaya standing beside her.

"Don't wake him Karkat.." She whispered this looking at Dave as he slept. "He hasn't been able to sleep at all since John left.. He needs this.." I nod and take a glance at the blonde, before looking back at Rose, my voice managing to come out thanks to their care.

"Why's he sleeping beside me..? Shouldn't he like.. Be on his couch or something..? So he doesn't end up hugging random people..?" I whisper this with a tiny frown, unsure of why Dave would want to sleep beside me of all people.

"You really are that dense aren't you Karkat..?" It was Kanaya, smiling as she kneeled beside the bed.

"What do you mean..?" I stared at her, confusion on my face. She only chuckled quietly, brushing a hand soothingly through my hair. "Just ask him when he wakes up.."

And with that.. The two of them left the room, shutting the door and leaving me and Dave alone.

The blonde mumbled softly in his sleep, his hand gently pulling me closer. I blushed.. But.. I didn't complain. With Gamzee gone.. I didn't have an excuse not to like Dave. In fact.. I cuddled up to him, smiling softly as he nuzzled my hair, and didn't move from that spot. It was so comfortable.. Lying here with Dave.. And I wished I could stay here forever.

But soon Dave woke up, those beautiful red eyes finding mine and (to my surprise) a light blush gathering on his freckled cheeks. "Shit.. Sorry." He pulled away from me and I frowned a bit, staring at him.

"What the hell are you apologizing for?"

He ran his hand through his hair, looking around for his shades that somehow were no longer in the room. "Well.. For this.." He motioned his hands towards the space we were laying in and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes.. Because I'm totally going to flip my shit over being cuddled by the guy that pretty much saved my life." I said this softly, my voice still slightly hoarse and his reaction was pretty much priceless. His cheeks lit up a bright red, his eyes wide with surprise, and he was chewing on his lip, trying to find the words to say.

After a few moments though.. I decided I'd say something. "Just get back over here and hold me Strider.."

He smiled and surprisingly.. He was quick to do just that, pulling me into his arms and nuzzling me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get there sooner.." He said this quietly, earning a questioning stare from me.

"What do you mean..? It's not like you could've stopped him.." I whispered this, staying close to him.

"But I couldn't protect you.." Those words made my thoughts hit a stand still. I looked up at him, confused as all hell.

"It's not like I'm your responsibility.. You don't have to worry about protecting me all the time."

And at that, his hand was on my cheek, causing me to blush. "But I do worry about you.. I always have Karkat." He said this softly and I stuttered.

"Wh-what are you talking about..?"

"Karkat.. I love you.." He said this quietly and my eyes widened, my heart skipping a beat. Did.. Did he really just say that? Did Dave Strider.. The guy of my dreams.. Just tell me he loved me?

Apparently I wasn't going to get the time to ask him to repeat himself.. Because the next thing I knew, there was a pair of soft lips hesitantly pressing against mine. I blushed, darker than ever, having never expected to be kissed by Dave and at first, I was frozen, unsure of what to do.

When Dave pulled back though.. His face full of disappointment, and I couldn't help myself. I pulled him close, although I was pretty weak from my wounds, and reconnected our lips, his cheeks lighting up with blush. He soon melted into the kiss though, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. My heart skipped a beat.. And when we finally broke the kiss a few minutes later, we were both blushing like mad and smiling.

"I love you to Dave." I said this softly and nuzzled into him, his hand running over my side.

For once I felt happy for real.. Because I knew for a fact that Dave would never do anything to hurt me.. Not even if he was drunk.


End file.
